As regular readers will know and as family and friends will testify, Christmas is never a good time in our household. I love it and I think Sam our son would too had he not been poisoned (no it’s not too strong a word) over the years by Scrooge himself. To be fair to Pete he’s not mean or even mean spirited, and I do agree with his rants about over-indulgence and presents that no-one wants but when, without even drawing breath, he starts on about insincerity and hypocrisy before launching into the merits or otherwise of Christmas Day Mass, I lose both patience and the will to live. Christmas turns him into the President of the Grumpy Grumps Society.
In 32 years not once has he bought me a Christmas present. It’s nothing to do with money; it’s apparently to do with ‘principle’. Again to be fair, in 32 years he’s never asked for a present himself (he does get a few things forced upon him though) and so this year, in a vain attempt to lever some festive spirit out of Sir Scroogey Scrooge of Scroogetown, I threatened that in the absence of a gift, I would file for divorce on the grounds of material deprivation. This didn’t go down well but he did, surprisingly and remarkably, relent.
Now of course he wasn’t about to walk into a shop and actually purchase anything – oh no, that would be a step WAY too far, but he did enter into an agreement. Now, much of my time is spent cleaning. I don’t resent cleaning but sometimes it’s nice to get a break. So Pete agreed (for Christmas only) to do some cleaning. A good start you might think but wait, my negotiating skills are not to be under-estimated. No, no, I wanted him to clean our toilets; I wanted him to suffer and to clean them until they sparkled! And, in his own interest – to prove he was, underneath that gruff exterior, a modern man – I suggested we photographed the momentous event. So here we are with me smugly loitering over my manservant with a chilled Chardonnay. Ha bloody ha is what I say. I’ll not repeat what he said!
I’m not suggesting Pete doesn’t work hard but every now and then he needs to understand his place in the world – like any rat in a sewer!!
Here’s to a great year ahead – cheers!
0
0
0
Hi Amanda – welcome back and in top form – your musings have been missed. I notice that Pete is wearing my hat – but if it’s part of his new uniform he can keep both it and his new job.
I’m not sure that my good lady wife Debbie needs ideas like this putting in her head !
Oh Lord… Please let that good man return ASAP to the field, as he intended to do last year… I honestly believe he will get much more efficient than with those “tools” in his hands… Don’t you believe? 😉
All the best for this year to come…
Finally gone round the bend Pete??
I think you should do a re-take of this as I feel that the image would benefit from the addition of pink gloves!
A Very Happy New Year to you both.
Judging by the gleaming loo at least Pete will never be out of a job
x
Now that’s what I call a BLOG, or should it be BOG?
Welcome back Amanda. Hope you all have a “principled” 2014
Now I feel really bad…. I took the huff two years ago and threatened divorce because I got a huge box of luxurious and expensive face and body creams, when I really wanted a puppy..oops… note to self – learn to be more grateful.
Thanks for a great blog Amanda.
p.s. finally got my photograph, (Peter’s actually but my copy) framed – it looks amazing and is hanging on the wall
Thank you Amanda, for revealing that Pete is a kindred spirit in respect of Christmas. Bah, humbug! Long live Scrooge! It’s good to know that I am not alone. Please tell him that he has my sympathy and support. And it was good to see your photo — and learn how attractive is the nice efficient lady with whom I have been in communication recently. All the best for 2014.
Great blog as usual – you always manage to make me smile!
As many of the comments imply Pete is not alone. Steve too has the same hat and is often accused by his offspring of being a “grumpy old ………”. However, unlike you, I have been the recipient of many and varied gifts over the years so can’t complain too much, especially as a large proportion of them have enabled me to indulge my penchant for Northshots Photo Tours – roll on Feb and July 2014:-)
All the best to you, Pete and Sam for 2014!
Pete!
I am really disappointed – you were one person I thought I could rely upon to stick with me on the no present policy!
Happy new year to both of you. Dave & Julie.
Who is the ‘real Pete Cairns’?
The one who clearly has not read ‘A Christmas Carol’ or the one who penned the previous blog, ‘2014: a year for doing’?
It is all very confusing!
Good on you,Amanda.
Sorry,Pete,but now you know why I’ve stayed single for 69 Years.!!!
A Happy and Healthy New Year to you both,see you in Feb,
Alan.
Congrats Amanda! Pete, you look good!
Bonne année to you both
“MAN UP” Cairns, some of us do this every week, as a matter of course!!
Nice hat by the way – conveys my sentiments on Christmas pretty well, so I might have to borrow it next year.
Amanda, I get the feeling you came up short on that one. You could have had Pete “in” for so much more…………..
Best Wishes guys.
See you again soon
Phil
Awesome!
Splendid, as ever!
All the best for 2014!